ACM’s Designated Safeguarding Lead

This thing called love…

We know we want it… 

We know we’ll like it… 

We may think we have experienced it…

However, do we really know what love is? 

We hear people sing about it, we watch people on social media, films and music videos portraying it, we read about it in books and magazines, we see those around us expressing it, verbally, physically and emotionally. 

However, if you’re not sure what it actually is, how do you know what you’re experiencing really is true love?


Bruno Mars – Just The Way You Are

“When I see your face

There’s not a thing that I would change

‘Cause you’re amazing

Just the way you are”


“Love”

Noun

  1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
  2. a great interest and pleasure in something.
  3. a person or thing that one loves.

A famous reading commonly read at weddings is:

Love is patient, love is kind. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love never fails

These verses outline what Love is and isn’t in its simplest form. It explores the emotional, physical and philosophical basis for a well known and regularly used term and portrays it as a need for everyone.

Love has been a favoured topic of philosophers, poets, writers, and scientists for generations, there have been many debates about its actual definition.

While most people agree that love implies strong feelings of affection, there are many disagreements about its precise meaning, one person’s “I love you” may differ somewhat from someone else’s view of the same object, person or feeling.

Some possible definitions of love include:

  • A willingness to benefit another person’s well-being or happiness above that of your own.
  • A choice to commit to helping, respecting, and caring for another.
  • Strong feelings of attachment, affection, and need.
  • Overwhelming feelings of attraction and respect.
  • A sense of emotion of care, affection, and like.
  • Maybe a mixture of all the above

When it comes to a romantic relationship, being in love means desiring the happiness of your partner, respecting them for the individual they are, and feeling motivated to always work hard to be the best you can be for that person. The love between two people grows over time, through getting to know each other and experiencing life’s many ups and downs as a team. It involves commitment, time, mutual trust, and acceptance.

Love is so much more than physical attraction; sometimes people will enter a relationship confusing lust for love, this can be due to a need for attachment or excitement of the moment. 

Unfortunately, it will be made obvious which was the primary factor as the relationship develops in time; lust blurs our ability to see a person for who they truly are, and consequently, it may or may not lead to a long-term relationship. Although physical attraction will always be a major element within a relationship, there are other needs that require consideration:

Boundaries

You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with.

Communication

You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged.

Trust

Building trust can take time and allows couples to be vulnerable with one another knowing that they can rely on the other person.

Consent

Most commonly used when you’re being sexually active, giving consent means that you are okay with what is happening and that no one is forcing you or making you feel guilty into doing something that you don’t want to do. 

Consent can be given and taken back at any time, and giving consent once does not mean you automatically give consent in the future.

If you are in love, you are driven to be compassionate, generous, and caring to your partner, the above foundations are fundamental elements of a relationship which is made easier to implement when you have a true connection with another person.


Jack Savoretti – Candlelight

“Promise me, you’ll wake up next to me

A lifetime, forever and a day

Stay with me, don’t let our memories

Take from us the love we have today”


Ask yourself the question, “do I know what I am looking for?”

Finding love can be difficult, it’s about finding what is right for you, something that makes you happy and feels safe, It means sacrifice and commitment. The difficulty can be obvious when navigating this process as it requires a certain level of vulnerability. 

If a relationship is based on the foundation of lust, need or desperation then the relationship will inevitably struggle when faced with challenges.

Love helps you weather the storms that come your way, comfort you during life’s struggles and uplift you in those moments you truly need it. Love is not elusive, it is within us all, and when managed appropriately can positively impact not only your life but also those around you.


Female Victims of Domestic AbuseRefuge 

  • 0808 2000 247
  • www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Mankind Initiative

  • 01823 334244
  • www.mankind.org.uk

If you would like support with anything mentioned within this article please contact studentsupport@acm.ac.uk, alternatively, you can find out more information on our Student Services Canvas page.

If you have a concern for your wellbeing or that of someone else associated with ACM, please contact the safeguarding team:
Email – dsl@acm.ac.uk
Call – 01483 910197


Related content